Vignettes
by stardust2002
Summary: A series of BSG ficlets based on sentence prompts. Spoilers for everything aired to date. Mainly revolving around the Lee and Kara characters, some LK as well.  Prompts by anyareed.
1. Chapter 1

_** The first time he almost cried ...**_

... was the day he told his father they were expecting for the first time. Men shouldn't cry, his father had told him that when he was four years old and it had sunk in deeply. Deeper than he realized - Lee never cried as a child and could count on the fingers of one hand how many times he'd cried since becoming an adult.

Perhaps the day he'd proposed to Kara and she'd accepted he should have cried for joy but he was honestly too flabbergasted to do anything but stare stupidly until she pulled him into their bunk and had her way with him. He certainly had no tears for that.

Perhaps the day Kara had told him they were expecting he should have cried but he was shocked - no, absolutely stunned, as Kara had told him there was next to no chance they could ever conceive, given how the Cylons had messed with her internals. He'd shouted for joy and taken _her_ to their bunk that time.

But the day he stood there in front of his father and told the Old Man he was going to be a grandfather seven months hence, he'd had to fight tears. Tears of sorrow or tears of joy, he wasn't quite sure - the thought of becoming a father had brought back all his childhood memories of missing his father and wishing he wasn't in the military and Lee wanted to cry for all the things he and his father had missed.

He and his child _weren't_ going to miss them. He was firm on that.

Seven months and two days later after a long and arduous labour, the tears flowed freely down his cheeks as he held his newborn daughter in his hands. Kara's tears mingled with his as they passed the precious bundle back and forth between them.

And for the first time Lee wasn't ashamed to have his father see him cry - the Old Man had matching tears in his eyes as he congratulated them and held out his arms to welcome the new member of his family properly.

_ fin _


	2. Chapter 2

_** They needed one more person ...**_

... to carry the Old Man's casket.

His grandson Zachary volunteered, against his parent's objections.

He'd lived a long life, done what he wanted to do ... achieved the kind of success that legends are made of. He'd been the dying leader who'd led them to Earth - he hadn't known it till they'd nearly arrived but he too was struggling with a fatal disease and though he'd battled it to the end - always the soldier - eventually it had taken him.

Thankfully he'd lived long enough to see Earth. What had once been a legend, something he'd used to placate everyone and lull them into the sense of security that they had a purpose in life, had eventually become his one and only quest. The other things he'd hoped to see in his lifetime - marriage to Laura Roslin and his children happy together, married and with a family, had come to pass but he would have been secretly disappointed had he not managed to find a way to follow through on the promise he'd made fifteen years earlier.

Zach was easily smaller than the other men by a head but what he lacked in height he made up for in sheer strength of will and determination - things he'd rightfully inherited from his parents.

Lee's throat constricted and he had to use every bit of strength he had to hold back the tears as he watched his son pick up the front corner of the casket and straighten up, knowing how much this was costing him.

Kara's tears flowed unchecked down her face onto her dress uniform. Zach and his grandfather had been close - much closer than Lee had ever been to him, and while a part of her had objected to such a little boy (he was only eleven!) doing such a solemn, adult task, another part of her had known it was something he had to do.

"I'm an Adama mom. I have to do this," he'd said, and she'd known he was right. Strong, loyal, brave ... Zach had inherited all the traits his grandfather had possessed and she knew that like his father he'd put them to good use.

"Goodbye papa. Rest easy. I'll see you on the other side someday."

Zach walked away from the grave holding both his parent's hands, tears streaming unabashedly down his face as he held his head high.

_** fin **_


	3. Chapter 3

_ It was hard to believe it had been a year since it had happened ..._

She'd always been certain she'd go out first. It only seemed fitting considering the risks she took. He was such a by-the-book pilot - always did things the 'safe' way and never took unnecessary risks.

It had been a careful, calculated plan where he'd do the straightforward task and she'd distract them with her crazy-ass flying. Sounded simple on the drawing board. Everyone had been sure_ she _was going to be the one caught ... if anyone was. She was Starbuck though, and Starbuck had nine lives. Or perhaps more.

She'd been devastated when Cylon fire had destroyed Lee's Viper. She'd yelled so loud and so long that the Admiral had had to turn off the comms for fear she'd cause the crew in CIC to go deaf. She'd flown round and round in circles, taunting them, no _begging_ them to fire at her. _Take me down too! We have to go out together!_ she'd thought.

They'd had to come after her with a Raptor when her ship had gone bingo fuel. She'd stayed out in space, feeling like going back to Galactica would have been abandoning him and one never abandoned one's wingman.

Even when he was dead.

"You sure you don't want to go out there this time?" The Admrial never ceased to ask but the answer was always the same.

"I can't fly without him." She hadn't set foot in a Viper since the day one year earlier when Lee Adama had been taken out by the enemy.

Apollo and Starbuck had always been a team. Without him she was lost.

_ fin _


	4. Chapter 4

_** She heard the music first ...**_

... and hauled him to his feet unceremoniously.

"This is our song," she said firmly by way of explanation. His confusion cleared as the strains of the love song rose above the sounds of the crowd.

He took her in his arms, suddenly having a flash of memory to that time five years earlier when he'd danced with her on Colonial Day. She was wearing the same dress tonight.

Their bodies fit together as though they'd been made as one - a whole split into two pieces, destined to find one another and become the unified spirit they were always meant to be. It had taken a long time and a lot of heartache for them to fully realize their destiny but after realizing that being apart was something that caused them more pain than being together, they'd given in and let it consume them.

"Who knew we'd end up having an 'our song'?" Lee murmured into her hair, long enough now to hang to her shoulders.

"I guess the Gods did," she whispered back, nuzzling his neck as he pulled her closer. "They certainly kept giving us chances even after we kept frakking them up."

"Mmm," was all Lee could find to say in response. His senses were in circuitry overload. Having her in his arms always did that to him - it was one of the reasons he loved her so much. She made him forget everything else.

The music played and they danced, oblivious to the fact that the party was almost over and they were the only couple on the dance floor.

_ fin _


	5. Chapter 5

_** Presents **_

He'd done it. He'd gone and frakking given her a Christmas gift.

After she'd explicitly forbidden him to.

That was Lee Adama all over. Most people thought he was so proper and by the book but she knew better - he absolutely delighted in doing things people wouldn't expect. Especially her.

It was like he was trying to outdo her in a 'pain in the butt' contest.

She huffed like a stream train under full power. Lee Adama had gone one step too far this time. Christmas was a despised thing as far as she was concerned. She hated the holidays - hated everything about them.

As for gifts ... she could count on the fingers of one hand how many times she'd been given gifts for Christmas. All of them held bad memories.

Her mother had bought her the talking doll she'd wanted so badly when she was eight years old and then had taken it away a few weeks later when Kara had forgotten to make her bed before going to school.

She'd never seen it again.

She'd been given the jeans she'd begged for - the ones that were girly and flattered her curves perfectly when she'd just begun to have them. Her mother had expressly forbidden her to wear them in public though, saying she looked like a tart and if she went ahead and wore them she'd be telling men she was cheap and easy.

She'd never worn them. Not even once.

Zak had given her a beautiful red satin negligee for their first Christmas together. It was beautiful. It was soft and full and it made her feel like a princess when she wore it. It was the best used article of clothing she'd ever owned.

Zak had died a month later and she'd thrown it in the trash, unable to even look at it.

Lee was going to pay for his disobedience. Nobody frakked with Starbuck, he should know that by now.

She marched into the bunkroom, not caring if anyone else was there. "Lee Adama you take this back right frakking now! I told you, _no Christmas presents."_

Lee stood there, calm and unruffled, watching her get angrier and angrier at his lack of reaction.

"Did you hear me? I told you I didn't want any Christmas presents, now take this back!" She held out the package to him with a look of disgust, as though a severed finger or something of the like was in it.

"Open it Kara," he said softly.

"No! I don't want it!"

"Open it."

She growled inarticulately.

"Please?"

"You are so going to pay for this," she murmured through clenched teeth, ripping off the brown paper and opening the box.

Inside was a gold wedding band. Her wedding band - the one Zak had given her all those years ago.

"Where did you find this?" she whispered, awestruck. "It's been missing for months. I didn't think I'd ever see it again." She took it out of the box delicately and held it as if it was the most priceless thing in the universe.

"When I cleaned out the head last week. It had rolled into a crevice under the bench. As soon as I saw it I knew it was yours."

Kara swallowed, the lump in her throat growing as her eyes began to prickle. She flew at him and hugged him hard.

"I don't think I've ever been so happy that you're an anal neat freak," she whispered into his ear.

He folded his arms around her waist and smiled. "I don't think I've ever received a nicer compliment from you. Obviously I'm going to have to get you Christmas presents every year."

_** fin **_


	6. Chapter 6

** Despair **

Some said despair was a hot, angry thing, borne out of frustration and inability to succeed at something.

Lee knew better.

Despair was cold, isolating ... it clung to you like icy fingers, gripping your heart and soul and freezing you from the inside out. It was borne not out of frustration but loss. Having had something precious and lost it ... possibly forever.

Despair was lonely. Anger, frustration - those were emotions one could experience with others. They could be shared, and in their shared-ness they could be alleviated. It was impossible to despair with others. It was something that only took hold in the darkest and loneliest of times, haunting you, taunting you ... making you so cold that you felt nothing could warm you ever again.

Kara had caused him to feel many things. Rage, anger, frustration, confusion, lust, love ... but her retreat to New Caprica had left him with nothing. Nothing but despair. The cold emptiness that beckoned suicide.

For what purpose was there in living when you couldn't feel anything?


	7. Chapter 7

** Joy **

She wasn't quite sure what she'd expected to see in his eyes when she returned. Disbelief? Anger? Surprise? They were there for sure. So were guilt and sorrow. Even lust.

But she hadn't been prepared for joy.

Joy meant he'd missed her. Joy meant he'd been afraid she wouldn't return, and that would have created a hole in his life. Joy meant he wanted her back, that he wasn't angry with her for being a screw-up.

Joy meant he _cared._

And that ... that meant more to her than all the words in the world. Apologies weren't necessary, neither was forgiveness. Those three words that most people wanted to hear and that he'd said and taken back, didn't matter. Mouths could lie and hearts could pretend. But the joy in his eyes was something that spoke louder than all the words he said and couldn't say.

He cared for her, and if that wasn't cause for rejoicing she didn't know what was.


	8. Chapter 8

** Touch **

She'd never been much of a touchy-feely sort of person. Having people touch her reminded her of things she'd rather forget ... of touches that hurt, from people who weren't supposed to hurt her.

So she'd retreated, using her mouth as a shield. Practiced sarcasm as a sword to hurt others first so they couldn't hurt her. Obnoxiousness to draw people away from the idea that she might be soft and pliable under the hard, angled exterior.

Only one person dared touch her, and he did it all the time. His hand, whenever he was within reach, found a way to brush against her arm, tickle her fingers or sit on her lower back, urging her forward ahead of him. His eyes caressed her with every glance, making her tingle from top to bottom and break out in a sweaty flush. His breath, when she was close enough to feel it on her skin, flipped the master switch to her nervous system and caused her to light up with desire.

It scared her. His touch was the one uncontrollable thing in her life. She liked having control. Most people would argue that she was always out of control but that was because they didn't understand that she lived in a state of controlled chaos. _She _chose when to fly by the seat of her pants. _She_ chose when to find a man and use him to satisfy her desires._ She_ chose when to obey the rules and when not to.

His touch threw her into complete chaos, unable to control herself but unable to say no. It was the one thing she wished she didn't love so much.

But the one thing she couldn't live without.


	9. Chapter 9

** Warm **

How he could he keep going back to her again and again?

It was a good question. One he didn't answer when Dee asked it of him before she walked out for good, but one he'd thought about a great deal since then.

Why did he keep going back to Kara again and again, even though she kept hurting him?

Warmth.

Her touch was the only thing that kept him warm.

She was like a flame that continually drew him closer. She fascinated him, mesmerized him ... caused him to lose control of himself. And yes, even burned him many a time, but without her his life was cold and empty. And though cold and empty had seemed like a good idea at one point - at least he wouldn't get burned again - he'd soon realized that without warmth he was like a block of ice, cool, unfeeling and uncaring about anything.

Her touch warmed him from the inside out, igniting the spark of life within him.

Without it he was nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

** Hope **

It was the one thing he'd had left, and the one thing her death had taken away.

He'd always known his life wasn't going the way he wanted it to and that he had no choice - being William Adama's eldest son he had to follow his father's footsteps, but somehow she'd always given him hope that anything was possible. She was Starbuck, and if that word wasn't synonymous for 'anything goes' he didn't know what was.

But though they'd had their issues, their fights, their times of hatred, he'd never stopped thinking of her as his beacon of hope. His reason to keep on fighting.

Till now.

She was gone. Gone forever and she wouldn't come back again. Not this time.

Now he was left with a gaping hole where she used to be, a hole he could only fill with the same blackness and swirling death that had claimed her.

Hope had no place here anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

** Tears (4)**

It was as if she'd punched him. Worse actually. She _had _punched him before and he remembered all too well what it felt like. It had hurt his pride but it hadn't hurt his heart - the knowledge of what had happened the night before the smack had been what had hurt. Surprising, since he'd never realized till that morning just how much she'd meant to him and why her betrayal in sleeping with someone else had cut him so deeply.

No, the look in her eyes - the tears - _that_ hurt him more than anything. He knew he was being unreasonable as pilots had near misses all the time and clipping someone else's wing wasn't a criminal sin. But he just hadn't been able to stop himself. He was so damned angry at her and he didn't even know why. Yelling at her, pointing a finger under her nose and threatening to toss her out an airlock had made him feel good, as though he'd had the upper hand for once.

Her tears and the obvious internal pain that came with them at his insults jabbed him far deeper and more harshly than any punch she could have thrown at him. She could have nearly destroyed his body and it wouldn't have hurt as much as seeing her cry.

Starbuck. Cry.

The one thing he never thought he'd ever see in his lifetime, and he'd been the cause of it. It cut him like a mortal blow to the heart.

_Go on Kara, hit me back. I deserve it._


	12. Chapter 12

** Risk **

It was messy, dirty - nothing he hadn't seen before many times. It was thin, fine and silky as always but there were traces of red imbedded in it, as though someone had artlessly thrown a wad of paint in her direction and it had landed unawares on her head.

Before he was even aware of having the thought, his hand had snaked out and touched her hair - white blonde with streaks of pinkish red in it. _Blood_. There was blood in her hair. He wondered if it was hers and if so, if she'd allow him to see the wound that had produced it. He doubted it - Kara Thrace was the most self-sufficient, annoyingly stubborn human being he'd ever known.

"What are you doing?" she said, irritation forming creases in her forehead.

"There's blood in your hair," he said softly, answering a different question than the one she'd asked.

"Yeah, so?" she said idly, shaking her head.

Every muscle in his had body tensed as the urge to pull out the ponytail holder and run his fingers through her hair became almost impossible to resist.

Resistance was futile.

Surprisingly, she'd let him. He'd been prepared for the punch he knew she'd level at him - perhaps at his stomach, perhaps his face. But she hadn't moved. He hadn't even been sure she was even breathing she'd stood so still.

"Let me wash it out for you," he whispered. She acquiesced.

Later he pondered it, surprised at his own boldness. Touching Kara without her permission - offering to do something she was fully capable of _for_ her ... it was like walking into a lion's den and offering his head up on a platter.

Who ever said Apollo wasn't a risk-taker?


	13. Chapter 13

** Future **

When the Cylons had attacked the colonies they'd done much more than just kill the people. They'd killed all hope of having a future.

The survivors had spent years on the run, never knowing if each day was going to be their last. Some wished it would be their last, others died wishing they'd had much more time, despite the difficult circumstances in which they'd lived.

The only thing that was certain in those times was uncertainty. Life was fragile - a mere drop of water in a raging river carrying them mercilessly along on a wave of violence.

Kara's life had always been like that, the future a dream at best, so fitting into this catch-as-catch can lifestyle wasn't hard for her. What was hard was what came after ... their life on Earth.

She'd never been one to wear rose-coloured glasses or fantasize about the future, but when they landed on Earth, found themselves permanent homes for the first time in over five years, and Lee proposed to her she knew the future was tangible, _here_ where she could reach out and touch it.

And for the first time in her life she realized that certainty wasn't a bad thing.


End file.
